Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
