I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
