When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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