Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize