I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
