They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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