a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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