did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize