So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize