Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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