So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
