Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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