A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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