would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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