I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it was like eating out sand paper
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
