Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize