whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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