$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
