I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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