I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
