awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize