3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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