Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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