drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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