I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
