Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
