yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize