We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
