I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize