Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
