This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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