What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
