So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
