hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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