Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
