i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
