I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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