something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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