i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
