..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize