she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
