It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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