It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We need a shit load of segways right now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
