flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
