I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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