Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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