There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
