wakey wakey hands off snakey
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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