"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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