butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My friends, they love my intelligence
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
