I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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