i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
