And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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