why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
