I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
