So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
