yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
