Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize