let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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