you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
