He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
