I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
