is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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