shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
