Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
