but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
