His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
