i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
