I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize