I'm lost and stupid without you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
