careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
