ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize