I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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