I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
