what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
